The Uninvited Rascals.

"okay, so you love me, huh?"
she asked me, looking at a direction around 70-100 degrees away from me, clockwise..
forget the direction..what really irritated me was her facial expression which is no more merciful than what a girl's face would look like when she asks the bangle seller, "okay..so 25 rs for this piece of shit, huh? ".

I'v been telling her since the last one year that i do. I love her. It's something every neuron inside me knew.okay, but what do I like about her?
you know, you ask me how the economic crisis began or what is Egypt better off with,a dictatorship or a democracy, i could give you an answer and shut your mouth up.
but if you ask me what do i like about her, I go speechless.. i am dumb.. the curly hair that struggles to reach the shoulders, those dimples right on the middle of those fatty cheeks, those giggles that often end up being uncontrolled laughters, those thin wrists, which find themselves very lonely even inside the thinnest of the bangles.. i dont know. I really dont know. This could go on till evening unless you stuff something inside my mouth..

'maya' was her name and to me, she was very rightly named by her dad.

I'v seen a myriad of her reactions over the past year, whenever i tried telling her that i love her..
I still remember all of them.
First- what? then she burst into laughter.
Second.. hmm.. and she sighed(couldnt decipher what she meant)
Third.. you are like a brother to me, man.. never saw you like that
Fourth.. I'v no idea what to tell you.. forget all this love and stuff, focus on your life, plan something big and execute it.. good luck..
Fifth. listen, i think this is getting weird..how many times do i have to tell you the same thing man.
Sixth: stay away from me, or i ll have tell this to some people and get this fixed..
Seventh: Live and let live man.
Eight: please spare my life..

guess that would give you a rough picture if you ask me" hey, hows that thing goin between you and maya?".

alright, now for some reason i cant even guess, she is asking me if i love her..

"what on this planet have I been telling you since last year, madam''? was what i thought my response would be like.
But i couldnt be rude on her.. maya was like a castle made of playing cards to me.. you don't even feel like taking a deep breath when you are near it, coz you dont want to ruin it.. you just look at it from a distance and some kind of an inexplicable gratification fills your heart.

''Yes maya. I do.you know I do."- was all i could afford..

"but why man?" she asked me and looked at my face, quizzically.. "what do you like about me"?

"what do i like about you?..okay.. where do i start.. i like your.."

"blah blah.. chuck it.. so you like so many things about me and you love me..

"thats right maya.." my eyes were absolutely on hers, and i if you ask me what all do i see i'd probably give the same reply as Arjuna gave to Drona during one of their archery sessions. just the eyes and nothing else..

"love me and then what, marry me''?

though those words weren't used in the context i wished she used them, for some reason yet unknown, i heard a thousand violins playing inside me when i heard 'marry me'..

"ya".. this time i was looking at the banyan tree to my right hand side, and i couldnt see anything else once again.(simply put, i was feeling too shy to look at her face when i said that).

"so what about the other girl who calls you everyday''?

"told you a zillion times, she is my cousin..we share our daily things and a good friendship. thats all"..

"hmm.."

"why are you concerned? what does it matter if she is my friend or fiance..''?

"nothing.. just asked".. she was indifferent, but her indifference seemed weaker..

"what about my mom and dad?" , she asked me..

''what, what about your mom and dad''?

"god forbid that, but how do you plan to treat my parents if we get married''?

the way she began the sentence reassured me there are no chances for getting excited,but i felt something different with the way she put that question to me. she was not in the bangle shop anymore.. instead, she seemed to be in a textile shop, asking the sales man something like." i liked the design of the chudi and its color, but are you sure it won't fade after i wash them''?

I couldn't help giving that cliche because my response time was zero for that question. "just the way i treat mine".

"hmm.. what about my little brother"?

"trust me, till my 5th grade, i used to ask my mom for a little brother to play with.."

''good work man.." she looked at me and said with an adorable smile." i think you are already there''..

"where??" i asked, puzzled to the core..

"My heart.. i think i've started to love you.."

I would have to employ one of those techniques where in you talk to dead peoples' souls, have a word with Wordsworth or Shakespeare to help me describe how i felt at that moment.

But if both of them turned me down and i myself had to do that, i would say i felt like rushing furiously onto the top of some mountain where i am the only talker and nature the listener, and with all the energy i can muster, crying out loud- "aaaaaaaaaaaah......I DID IT.. Maya says she's started to love me. you listening?? hellooo??'' and then dive downwards into the crazy river, and swim along the current until i die..

Basically, i was dying with joy.

Next thing i see is, she is taking out a packet of cigarettes.. she took out one, lit it and started smoking it heavily..

Completely taken aback, I asked her" what? what the hell are you doing? since when did you start this''?

"it's just to calm me down.. Helps when I get tensed.. got a little nervous in between this.. u stay chill.. now am cool.." and then she blew a big chunk of smoke on to my face .. i almost choked.

''maya what are you doing.. you are acting crazy.. stop that''. i cried..

It got more weird, now maya was speaking in a very masculine voice, something like- ''dumbo, if you wanna eat something, come along''..

I opened my eyes, my roomie handed me the lit cigarette and said, ''get up my dear, hold this, take a couple of smokes and return..and brush your teeth, am hell hungry.. ohh and don't finish the entire cigarette, that's all we got''..

What do I say.. I really really hate dreams. to me, they are uninvited rascals. They never say they are dreams..

They hit you anytime they feel like..

The scary ones scare you then and there, the sweet ones make you feel terrible the moment you wake up from them..

so you tell me, do we really need them??

Talk terrorism

Hello everyone...This is my very first blog..i dedicate this to all those who find it really hard to close their mouths once they'v opened them..
Yes...To all kathis(Knives)..This one's for u fellas..long live u people..

Have u ever tasted an hour long, standing lecture on practically nothing from ur 60 year old neighbour in return for a smile that u gave him?have u regretted a casual "hello" that u happened to give ur old school buddy which followed a high voltage, detailed lecture on the list of girlfriends he has?Have u ever learned a lesson after u gave ur professor a feel good comment just for the sake of it?If your answer is yes, welcome aboard.

Well people, we all are living in a society where torture takes several forms, is it not?work stresses, headaches, diseases,scolding from parents,advices, unnecessary rules; what not. But this thing,i mean these pompous, heartbreaking lectures from people whom we never thought of as being so cruel, i must tell u, are not silly ones.Infact it could be the king of all forms of tortures.I will tell u how..

its been two days in train once u boarded it from delhi to cochin.u are getting to breathe some kerala air and u are thrilled.u slept in train, u finished ur agatha chrsitie,u counted hours and minutes and cursed the pantry people for sabotaging ur stomach with their delicacies.heaven is nowhere but in the toilet..but God doesnt seem so friendly..pipes go dry..wonderful memories of making it at home visit ur mind.u get down at station,ur stomach being carried by both of ur hands.U take an auto in no time, roar at the rickshaw driver to make it fast.alright, now u are at the gate. u pay him the money..wat next.ur toilet?wait a second.is it not ur padosi uncle looking over his gate while watering his plants.?yeah it is..he wants to know how it is goin in delhi.."Everything is fine, uncle", u reply."NO..Everything's not fine..its recession time and i heard delhi is totally down"..Thats it..its just the beginning of probably a half an hour lecture on recession and ways to tackle it.U are dead.

Imagine another instance.Its 9.30 in the night and it was ur wedding day.Months long telephone marathons end and she is now just within ur reach.u are a little tensed and u have a light dinner.u take a deep breath and u are about to enter your room where she is waiting for you. mom calls u from behind, says ur uncle is about to leave.u thought its customary to bid him bye
and maybe, seek his blessings. u know that he is a knife but u are pretty sure that u'd be spared today.after all he is also a married man.he knows the thing.U were wrong.its 10.00 and u still find urself standing next to him bearing his class on how to handle woman and how clumsy can they be if not handled properly.u see ur girl through the window give in to slumber and thats it.you lose, ur uncle wins.."God bless him", u murmur.

One can call these people "talk terrorists"..while ordinary terrorists may carry bombs and guns in their hands, these "talk terrorists" come empty handed and do the same thing.they put ur life at stake.they make u realise that hell is no separate place.that it could well be around you only.and u owe them something for giving u this lesson.

I feel that talk terrorism can be identified with baldness, in the sense that both do not have proper cure developed so far..if u lose ur hair, never in ur life will u gain it.In a similar way, a gifted person patronises talk terrorism right from his birth and continues practising it till his death..One vital difference between an ordinary terrorist and a talk terrorist is that while the former may know that he is a terrorist and can be self aware, the latter always remains unaware
of his gifted talent and keeps rocking..The fact that they could be the most dreadful form of life on earth, never makes them proud or contented.they keep improving after each lecture they give and are always in a lookout for preys.

So the most relevant question now..How to save our souls??Is there really any way out??

No one knows the answer.or none so far..Keep Praying.God will answer ur prayers or atleast, we hope so.